M03: Learning Together : Making Access Happen

03: Forming Positive Relationships

Community

For many of the children we serve, our programs are their first communities outside of their families. This community should provide a physical, emotional, and cognit ive environment that promotes development and learning as well as providing a physically and psychologically safe place to learn and grow. Having a caring community of learners involves ensuring that each member of that community is valued and included. Let’s take a look at an anecdote from a classroom:

What A split image of a young boy building a robot out of blocks and a smiling teacher with text underneath "Sam is a four year old child in Mr. B’s classroom. Sam struggles to keep his hands to himself and use his words. If Sam sees a child with a toy that he wants, he often runs over to his peer and grabs the toy from her. Mr. B learned that “time out” is an effective way to discipline negative behavior. Every time Mr. B sees Sam grab a toy fro m a friend, he puts him in a four minute time out. However, Mr. B is dismayed that after 6 months of being in his classroom, it does not appear that Sam’s behavior has improved. In fact, some days Mr. B feels that Sam’s aggressive behavior has even increased! He is frustrated and needs help addressing this situation."

What is going on here?

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What is going on here?

It seems that Sam is being isolated or excluded from the classroom activity every time the teacher sees him engage in negative behavior.

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What is Sam learning?

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What is Sam learning?

He may not feel valued or included.

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How could Mr. B address this behavior differently?

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How could Mr. B address this behavior differently?

Sam clearly needs help learning how to appropriately interact with peers.

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Is he developing this skill by being removed from social situations?

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Is he developing this skill by being removed from social situations?

No. It is more likely that Sam will develop positive social skills if Mr. B models a different behavior for him. Mr. B could stop Sam when he sees him grab a toy and prompt him through how to use his words to ask nicely for the toy. Maybe that peer will happily share. Maybe the peer does not want to share, and then Mr. B can help Sam wait his turn or redirect him to another activity. By keeping Sam included in the social situation, Mr. B can model and prompt Sam through difficult interactions. Sam will develop skills such as verbal initiation and waiting. In developing these skills, Sam’s success in the classroom will increase and Sam’s self-esteem with grow.

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